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01
Jul

Top Ten Fourth of July Jokes

Happy 4th of July! A little bit of light humor to make the day more festive!

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10) What’s red, white, blue, and green?

A patriotic turtle!
From Jessica, age 7, Abilene, TX

9) What did one flag say to the other flag?
Nothing. It just waved!
From Eloise, age 9, Charlottesville, VA

8) Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?
Because the horse was too heavy to carry!
From Betty, age 9, CT

7) How is a healthy person like the United States?
They both have good constitutions!
From Tom P., age 8, KY

6) What dance was very popular in 1776?
Indepen-dance!
From Rachel, age 8, Long Beach, CA

5) What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed?
The Fodder of Our Country!
From Marie K., age 12, Dallas, TX

4) Teacher: “Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?”
Student: “On the bottom!”
From Christy, age 14, Denver, CO

3) Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?
Yeah, it cracked me up!
From Tom P., age 8, KY

2) What did King George think of the American colonists?
He thought they were revolting!
From Scott, age 11, Colorado

1) Do they have a 4th of July in England?
Yes. That’s how they get from the 3rd to the 5th.
From Big Al, a grownup, Frankfort, KY

Source: www.JokesByKids.com

Category: Current Affairs, Hee, Hee, A touch of Humor  2 Comments
23
Jun

Pass it on!

A few things I owe my mother that I choose to pass on to my children are:
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .”If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside.. I just finished cleaning.”

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. “You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. “If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. “Because I said so, that’s why.”

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .”If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. “Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

7. My mother taught me IRONY. “Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS . “Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTION-ISM. “Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA..”You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. “This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. “If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION “Stop acting like your father!”

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. “There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. “Just wait until we get home.”

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING . “You are going to get it when you get home!”

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.”If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.”

19. My mother taught me ESP. “Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. “When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT . “If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. “You’re just like your father.”

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. “Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. “When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. “One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !”

26. My mother taught me about CHOICE. “Do you want me to stop this car?”

(Contributed)

Category: Boomer Musings, Hee, Hee, A touch of Humor  Leave a Comment
07
Nov

Product of the times…..

I am a product of the times. I have an smartphone, I am a member of the Iphone clique. I use my smartphone for just about anything under the sun. I check my business accounts, read the daily news, check the weather, play games and surf the Web. I keep my notes for errands, business or other ideas that pop in my head. I use Facetime to “see” the grandkids. And rarely do I use my phone for phone calls. There is that occasional call that needs to be made. For example, yesterday I hopped on the phone because it was important to talk to my grandson.

My number one pet peeve with cellular phones is driving while talking or texting on the phone. When did we get so busy that we are glued to our phone in traffic? And who do we need to talk with such urgency? Is driving to and from wherever we are going that boring?

I don’t like talking on the phone. I rarely do. There was a time I would talk for a couple of hours with my sister on the phone. But I would plug in ear phones and be doing something else while we talked. I cannot imagine stopping and sitting to talk on the phone for more than 10 minutes which, seems like forever to me. And reception is an issue with smartphones. Every once and awhile you just drop a call. So then I have to wonder how far did I get talking before the call got dropped, only to I start all over!

But you may say, what about the kids or family or friends? Well the kids are on Facebook so I talk to them there. And grandchildren I make appointments with to talk on Facetime from time to time. Or email them. And even while talking business I just get it done and get off the call, if I can make contact by email I will do that over making a call.

I do not know what to say on the phone, I can’t see the person, I can’t get a feel for them on the phone. So I sit stalling out while the conversation usually dies out, I feel like I should be doing something. Anything. So if you are waiting for me get on the phone it usually isn’t going to happen.

I wondered where my dislike for phone calls come from. I think it is the ability to do Facetime, email, Instant Messaging or other social media exchanges. I think phone calls are passe, well at least for me.

I use my smartphone ever single day. I carry it around faithfully. But not for calls. For the news, weather, Itunes or games. I check my email, Facebook, take pictures, or notes. I check the bank, the Internet or go to Amazon. I even explore the universe on the App named “Star Walk”. All in a day’s adventure on my phone but rarely do I make a call or get a call.

Am I the only one who is not into phone calling?

 

Category: Boomer Musings, Hee, Hee, A touch of Humor, Oh! There's a App For That!  2 Comments
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